Basics 7 - 12 of Deb's 26 Basics of Dating

So... by "come back tomorrow" I guess I really meant Friday. Sorry about that!

Since my time as being lovingly labeled as a “young single adult,” I have been told many times by many people the counsel “don’t settle!” But what does that phrase really mean? Does “not settling,” mean you have to find a guy that marks every box on your list? Or a guy that has no struggles or mood swings? Looking for that guy may leave you looking for a long time. The next 6 basics of "Deb's 26 Basics of Dating" give a little bit more insight on what it means to “not settle” but still keep your standards high.  enjoy!

Basics 7 - 12 

7. Is he mate-material? Get clearance from your Heavenly Father, then allow your heart to engage.

8. Is he personally accountable to his Heavenly Father?

9. Does he honor the Priesthood, and can lead and bless your home and family?

10. Do you have common interests?

11. Do you share common values, common goals, like opinions on basic life issues?

12. Does he want to marry for eternity? If he isn’t interested, DON’T waste your time.

To catch up on the first 6 Basics of "Deb's 26 Basics of Dating" click here! 

Until the next 6 ...

Dating - Deb's Basics

Unconditionally loves you and boldly tells you how it is…I am under the firm belief that everyone should have a person in their life that fits that description!  Someone who reminds you what you’re worth and won’t let you settle for anything less.

Mama Koerner w/ granddaughter 

One of the people that plays that role in my life and plays it well is the spunky, southern bell Deb Koerner, a.k.a. Mama Koerner! She loves people to the core and, because of that love, shares wise words to inspire and shape the lives of those around her. Good, bad, ugly, and hard to hear… she lovingly gives counsel that others would normally shy away from giving.

On such an occasion where guiding and poignant words were needed, Mama Koerner once again rose to the occasion and eloquently shared “Deb’s 26 Basics of Dating.” These basics changed my perspective and attitude towards dating. So thanks Mama, and I hope you all find these 26 basics equally enlightening and directive.

Day 1: Basics 1 - 6 of "Deb’s 26 Basics of Dating"

1. If you are looking for an eternal companion let your Heavenly Father help you do the picking.

2. The decision for a mate must be made in a spiritual and intellectual basis before an emotional one.

3. Remember, the heart is willful and is driven by its own agenda. It does not consider things rationally and intelligently—it just loves to love.

4. Guard your heart—point it in the right direction.

5. Dating exists not for mating; it exists for collecting data. Use the time wisely to gather facts.

6. Friendship, courtship, and then marriage.

It is this bloggers belief that taking the time to do the "hard work" of dating is essential. You can fall in love with anyone for two weeks or even two months, but what about the next 50 years together? The next 2,100-ish ordinary Wednesday's you will spend together? Maybe instead of looking for Mr. Perfect... look for Mr. Progression, someone who strives to be their best self. Someone who is fiercely committed to the Lord, even in the little things, will then be fiercely committed to you. With that type of guy even the ordinary Wednesdays will be extraordinary because you will spend them all together. 

Come back tomorrow for the next 6 of Debs 26 Basics of Dating!

HOPE - A joyful life

The HOPE of God’s Light

HOPE:the belief in things which are not seen. At first glance, one might think that is the definition of a crazy person, but with further inspection it becomes clear that this is the way to live a joyful life.

Believing in something that is unseen is like walking through your house in the dark—tricky and painful. But in the same way that you know where the light switches are, so does God. He knows the exact moments to flip a switch or light a candle and let the light of HOPE gradually radiate your life. As our loving Father, He will never let us stay in darkness. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Only in the darkness can you see the stars.” So it is with God, He will always guide our way, even if it is with the stars before the radiant dawn.

Now… here is the catch. With God, it is never a “clap-on, clap-off” light kind of deal. We cannot sit in darkness, clap our hands and demand that the light or the way be shown to us. The only way He can fill our lives with the light of HOPE is if we are moving towards a bright future. We cannot sit in darkness and wait for Him to flip the switch, or stand at the edge of darkness in the light waiting for Him to remove the risk and let us see the end from the beginning. It rarely, if ever works that way. We must move expectantly into the darkness trusting the light will come. Just like turning on a light in your house you must walk towards the switch, trusting that it is there. We must do the same with God.

The Mormon Message, The Hope of God's Light, produced by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, brings greater understand to why sometimes God allows us to walk in the darkness. It’s not that He enjoys seeing us bump into things and get beat up and hurt, but rather He trusts us to become something because of it. To emerge triumphant from the darkness with a greater understanding of who He is, who we are and our potential for what comes next.

Why is HOPE essential? Because it shows God that we believe that He knows better than we do what we need, and that He will always give it to us as we move forward trusting in His timing. So HOPE on… TRUST on… and know that in the end God wants to give you something better, He wants to make you into something better.

-AJ