Basics 13 - 18 of Deb's 26 Basics of Dating

A while back I told someone I really look up to that a boy just broke things off with me. Tears were beginning to swell in my eyes and they rationally replied, “Good! He did you a favor.” With anger brimming at the thought of this person’s lack of consideration for my pain I gave a halfhearted smile and turned to his wife to finish the rest of the story. She was much more consoling… Which at the moment was what my heart needed. But in the weeks that followed I realized the value in what was initially said to me, “Good! He did you a favor.” It was definitely not what I wanted to hear. In those initial moments of this “break-up” I thought I would have done anything to be with that person, but now I realize that no one wants to convince someone to date them—that’s a decision everyone gets to make for themselves. And if someone decides you weren't what they wanted, in the end, they never could have been enough for you either. Maybe they just figured it out first.

Basics 13 – 18 of “Deb’s 26 Basics of Dating” speak to the hopeless romantics of the world, reminding us that Men are from Mars and sometimes He’s just not that into you, and the truth is that’s OK! It usually doesn't seem like it in the moment of heartache, but it is. TIME heals the wounds. So enjoy these next 6 basics that turn a hopeless romantic into a hopeful romantic in the search for that someone who will love your best qualities and quirks as much as you love theirs!       

Basics 13 - 18

13. Remember women fall in love and get married…

14. Men decide to get married and then look for a wife. If a guy says he is not interested in anything serious, believe him—take his words seriously.

15. Is he pursuing you? You do not need to strategically place yourself anywhere. God has transported men and women across the world in order to put them together.

16. If a man is passive about gaining your affections, take it as a sign that he is not interested. You should be recognized as the “pearl of great price” in his life.

17. A man who prepares for your future has made his intentions clear. He has the means to take care of a wife.

18. Does he embrace responsibility?

To catch up on basics 1 – 6 & 7 – 12 of “Deb’s 26 Basics of Dating" click on the numbers J

Until the next 6…

Basics 7 - 12 of Deb's 26 Basics of Dating

So... by "come back tomorrow" I guess I really meant Friday. Sorry about that!

Since my time as being lovingly labeled as a “young single adult,” I have been told many times by many people the counsel “don’t settle!” But what does that phrase really mean? Does “not settling,” mean you have to find a guy that marks every box on your list? Or a guy that has no struggles or mood swings? Looking for that guy may leave you looking for a long time. The next 6 basics of "Deb's 26 Basics of Dating" give a little bit more insight on what it means to “not settle” but still keep your standards high.  enjoy!

Basics 7 - 12 

7. Is he mate-material? Get clearance from your Heavenly Father, then allow your heart to engage.

8. Is he personally accountable to his Heavenly Father?

9. Does he honor the Priesthood, and can lead and bless your home and family?

10. Do you have common interests?

11. Do you share common values, common goals, like opinions on basic life issues?

12. Does he want to marry for eternity? If he isn’t interested, DON’T waste your time.

To catch up on the first 6 Basics of "Deb's 26 Basics of Dating" click here! 

Until the next 6 ...

Dating - Deb's Basics

Unconditionally loves you and boldly tells you how it is…I am under the firm belief that everyone should have a person in their life that fits that description!  Someone who reminds you what you’re worth and won’t let you settle for anything less.

Mama Koerner w/ granddaughter 

One of the people that plays that role in my life and plays it well is the spunky, southern bell Deb Koerner, a.k.a. Mama Koerner! She loves people to the core and, because of that love, shares wise words to inspire and shape the lives of those around her. Good, bad, ugly, and hard to hear… she lovingly gives counsel that others would normally shy away from giving.

On such an occasion where guiding and poignant words were needed, Mama Koerner once again rose to the occasion and eloquently shared “Deb’s 26 Basics of Dating.” These basics changed my perspective and attitude towards dating. So thanks Mama, and I hope you all find these 26 basics equally enlightening and directive.

Day 1: Basics 1 - 6 of "Deb’s 26 Basics of Dating"

1. If you are looking for an eternal companion let your Heavenly Father help you do the picking.

2. The decision for a mate must be made in a spiritual and intellectual basis before an emotional one.

3. Remember, the heart is willful and is driven by its own agenda. It does not consider things rationally and intelligently—it just loves to love.

4. Guard your heart—point it in the right direction.

5. Dating exists not for mating; it exists for collecting data. Use the time wisely to gather facts.

6. Friendship, courtship, and then marriage.

It is this bloggers belief that taking the time to do the "hard work" of dating is essential. You can fall in love with anyone for two weeks or even two months, but what about the next 50 years together? The next 2,100-ish ordinary Wednesday's you will spend together? Maybe instead of looking for Mr. Perfect... look for Mr. Progression, someone who strives to be their best self. Someone who is fiercely committed to the Lord, even in the little things, will then be fiercely committed to you. With that type of guy even the ordinary Wednesdays will be extraordinary because you will spend them all together. 

Come back tomorrow for the next 6 of Debs 26 Basics of Dating!

HOPE - A joyful life

The HOPE of God’s Light

HOPE:the belief in things which are not seen. At first glance, one might think that is the definition of a crazy person, but with further inspection it becomes clear that this is the way to live a joyful life.

Believing in something that is unseen is like walking through your house in the dark—tricky and painful. But in the same way that you know where the light switches are, so does God. He knows the exact moments to flip a switch or light a candle and let the light of HOPE gradually radiate your life. As our loving Father, He will never let us stay in darkness. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Only in the darkness can you see the stars.” So it is with God, He will always guide our way, even if it is with the stars before the radiant dawn.

Now… here is the catch. With God, it is never a “clap-on, clap-off” light kind of deal. We cannot sit in darkness, clap our hands and demand that the light or the way be shown to us. The only way He can fill our lives with the light of HOPE is if we are moving towards a bright future. We cannot sit in darkness and wait for Him to flip the switch, or stand at the edge of darkness in the light waiting for Him to remove the risk and let us see the end from the beginning. It rarely, if ever works that way. We must move expectantly into the darkness trusting the light will come. Just like turning on a light in your house you must walk towards the switch, trusting that it is there. We must do the same with God.

The Mormon Message, The Hope of God's Light, produced by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, brings greater understand to why sometimes God allows us to walk in the darkness. It’s not that He enjoys seeing us bump into things and get beat up and hurt, but rather He trusts us to become something because of it. To emerge triumphant from the darkness with a greater understanding of who He is, who we are and our potential for what comes next.

Why is HOPE essential? Because it shows God that we believe that He knows better than we do what we need, and that He will always give it to us as we move forward trusting in His timing. So HOPE on… TRUST on… and know that in the end God wants to give you something better, He wants to make you into something better.

-AJ

Time out from reading!

While reading a book called The Big Short, that talks a lot about finances and litigation, I was looking at the Travel page of the New York Times. It was amazing to read about exciting places like Fiji, Honduras, and Africa. But then I stumbled across this amazing slide show of Barcelona Spain. The architecture and design are so beautiful. So unreal, I can't wait to go there.. One can always dream right?

Enjoy.

Week Five

Few and far between are the books that make me cry while reading them. The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini just happens to be one of those books. The reality of life in all its beauty and disaster is uniquely portrayed in this story of two young boys growing up in political and war torn Afghanistan. While ripping through the pages, I wanted so badly that this book end my way. The Cliché "Happily ever after way." But through its' twists, turns, and heartaches, I discovered that things don't always end the way we expect or want them too... and that's ok.

Rarely does life turn out the way we expect, and all things considered that is what makes life meaningful. What we do with the good and the unexpected, and who we become because of it all.

Loved this book! Thanks to Benjamin Corbett for suggesting it.

Week Two . Three . Four.

Men of Valor . . The Miracle of Forgiveness . . In the Name of Honor

So it has been a busy few weeks. Never a dull moment :) But I have been reading! And so far it has been amazing.

Men of Valor by Robert L. Millet was a book I enjoyed reading. It teaches a lot about what a man of God really is, and how we can all reach our full potential.

The Miracle of Forgiveness is a HEFTY read, but it is worth the journey. It talks about the real power of forgiveness and who it comes from.

In the Name of Honor is a book that I found while browsing the many book selfs at my parents house. I was nervous to read it because of the nature of its content. The authors explore a story deep in the heart of Pakistani culture. It's story of a woman who stood up for true honor even when everything was against her. It is a powerful story of how one woman is trying to get rights for Pakistani women. "Every hour in Pakistan, a woman is assaulted, beaten, burned with acid, or killed in the 'accidental' explosion...The Human Rights Commission of Pakistan has recorded 150 cases of rape during the last six months in Punjab alone." Although hard to read at times, this book opened my eyes not only to the importance of womans rights, but also to how grateful I am to live where I live.

SOO...Four weeks down and four amazing books read! With my new Madison county library card hot off the press, the sky is the limit for summer 2011.